


find your way

by kanzentai



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanzentai/pseuds/kanzentai
Summary: In which Dimitri struggles with a number of things, but Byleth is there with him every step of the way.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	find your way

**Author's Note:**

> here's my piece for the dimileth zine, [my beloved](https://twitter.com/MyBelovedZine/)! i collabed with the loveliest [fuzz](https://twitter.com/yuumapii), whose accompanying art is extremely pretty and soft!
> 
> a biiiig thanks to the mods and my fellow writers who went through this and caught my REALLY STUPID mistakes, and as always, viva la dimileth! ♥

Years ago, when he first shot an arrow through the heart of a fawn, a few days after Jeralt taught him how to spell his own name, Byleth had immediately looked over at his father with wide, unbelieving eyes. _Did you see?_

While the other mercenaries surrounded him, ruffling his hair and calling him a natural and a prodigy and _truly Jeralt's kid_ as he lowered his bow, Jeralt himself kept mum. There was no pride in his eyes nor any mirth in the way he smiled lopsidedly before turning away, and the only answer Byleth received from Jeralt's retreating back was a resigned, _Yeah, kid_.

Byleth looked on as Jeralt disappeared into the forest, trying to decipher what his wistful gaze meant, but when Jeralt didn’t return by the time the others skinned the fawn, Byleth slipped away from the group to follow the muddy trail left by Jeralt's boots. It didn't take him long to spot the familiar blond braid he had grown up seeing every day of his life, trailing behind Jeralt as he took him along wherever he went, instructing Byleth to always stay close. 

"Is this the life that awaits him too?" Jeralt had whispered then, stopping Byleth in his tracks. As Jeralt turned his face skywards, running a thumb over the scabbard of his sword, Byleth watched him in silence. "Tell me, did I do the right thing back then?”

Now, so many years later, Byleth sees his father's likeness from that day in the way Dimitri is on his knees, hunching over a broken lance in the training hall, his eyes screwed shut as he whispers _sorry, sorry, sorry_ with his hands clamped over his ears. His pale lips quiver as he repeats that single word over and over, voice shaking like his shoulders.

Byleth hadn't expected to see a single soul at this late hour, long past curfew, so running into Dimitri here was already surprising, since Byleth has never found him breaking any of the monastery’s rules so far. But seeing Dimitri in _this_ state raises Byleth’s hackles, and he frowns.

As far as Byleth can tell, it’s only him and Dimitri present in the training ground, but it’s almost as if Dimitri is talking to someone, just like that day with Jeralt.

When Byleth steps towards him, Dimitri whimpers, "I'll make it okay, I promise, I'll—"

"Dimitri," Byleth says softly. Back then, Byleth was not equipped with the right words or actions to comfort Jeralt, and even though he doesn't know if he has learned much since then, this is _Dimitri_ — Byleth can’t sit by when he looks like he’s in pain, even if he doesn’t understand its cause.

"Dimitri?" Byleth repeats when Dimitri doesn’t respond, crouching beside him. "Are you alright?"

Byleth reaches out to brush Dimitri’s bangs out of his eyes. However, before he can, Dimitri's hand shoots out and grabs Byleth's wrist. His grip is strong, but Byleth doesn't falter, doesn't pull back or utter a word.

"Professor?" Dimitri says, his voice hoarse. He blinks at Byleth, then at the way his fingers are wrapped around Byleth's hand. His eyes widen, and he lets go instantly. “I apologize. I—”

"It’s fine," Byleth says, as if his hand doesn’t feel numb. Dimitri’s gaze darts back to the damaged lance, so Byleth continues, "I made a good deal with the blacksmith a few days ago. We'll have more weapons in no time."

“It isn’t...” Dimitri says, struggling to smile as he gathers the broken lance in his arms. “I should get going. Have a good night, Professor.”

Byleth knits his brows as he watches Dimitri put the lance away and leave without another word, his blue capelet fluttering behind him. Only at a distant wyvern’s growl does Byleth realize he’s been staring at nothing.

“I don’t think it was about the lance,” Sothis says, then, as if Byleth hadn’t figured that out from this encounter. 

Turning to the spot where Dimitri was kneeling, Byleth frowns again. 

  
  


Dimitri attends all his classes as usual the next day, just as Byleth had expected from an exceptional student like him. It’s almost as if whatever Byleth saw last night happened in a dream, but when Dimitri catches Byleth staring at him during their self-study period, he flushes all the way to his ears, and Byleth tells Sothis to stop laughing in his head.

By the end of the Blue Lions’ last lecture for the day, nothing seems amiss anymore. Dimitri talks to his classmates the same way he always does, giving everyone that charming smile of his as he congratulates them for holding their own against the other houses during their inter-class sparring sessions.

Byleth still observes Dimitri, though, trying to figure out what happened to him last night. It was more than a young man apologizing to a weapon for shattering it, but since Byleth doesn't know what, all he does is look at Dimitri until Alois whisks Byleth away for a time of evening fishing.

While Byleth always focuses on maximising the use of the pricey bait the Eastern Merchant cons him into buying, he can’t help but think of Dimitri, even as Alois says something about Byleth’s behaviour being rather fishy today.

In fact, Byleth expends so much energy towards musing about Dimitri, that when he places an airmid pike into the weaved basket beside them, he _hears_ Dimitri saying _oh, there they are_. Shaking his head and taking hold of his fishing rod, Byleth turns towards the pond again, and that’s when he _sees_ Dimitri. 

“Good evening, Professor, Alois,” Dimitri greets, holding up an envelope.

"If it isn't Dimitri,” Alois says, “the crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus!"

Byleth notices Dimitri stiffening at the mention of his title, but he gives Alois his usual winning smile as he says, "I found this by the stairwell, and it seems to be addressed to you, Alois."

At this, Alois squints at the pretty handwriting on the envelope, trying to decipher the sender's name. When he succeeds, he scrambles to get up, and thrusting his fishing rod at Dimitri, grabs the letter to hide it behind his back.

Then, turning to Byleth and Dimitri — whose confused gaze remains on the rod in his hands — Alois says, “I apologize, but I _must_ go. Professor, please continue fishing with Dimitri in my stead. I do hope you catch a Goddess Messenger!"

As Alois sprints away and the clanking of his armour gets distant, Dimitri turns back to Byleth and tilts his head to a side. The action reminds Byleth of the little puppy he sees outside the dormitories sometimes, and although Byleth tries to hold back a smile, he fails.

When Dimitri finally glances up, Byleth pats the deck beside him, and Dimitri obeys by taking a seat. Byleth has seen Dimitri fishing to please Flayn on occasion, but Dimitri still carefully observes the way Byleth baits his hook, then emulates. 

They fish in silence, and when Byleth is about to tell Dimitri that he can head back if he has schoolwork to review, he finds Dimitri looking content just sitting here, catching fish with his professor.

They reel in a few trout, and when the sun begins to set, Byleth turns to Dimitri to tell him that they should pack up, but Dimitri's face doesn't have the same joy it did a while ago. Instead, Dimitri seems… annoyed. 

It’s only when Byleth spots two female students chatting on the other side of the pond, gesturing to Dimitri and giggling every now and then, does he recognize what this is about. 

“...I also heard His Highness can master any weapon in under a day,” one of the girls says, and Byleth wonders how they can be so bold when they know they’re within earshot. 

Still, Byleth doesn’t know why their words upset Dimitri. If it was any other student of his seated here, they would be ecstatic being the topic of these girls’ conversation. But Dimitri clenches his jaw when one of them talks about how Dimitri’s _obviously_ good at everything he does, since he’s the leader of the Blue Lions house. Byleth looks on, surveying Dimitri’s eyes, trying to understand why there’s something… distant, almost, in the way Dimitri stares at his fishing rod.

The girls continue whispering something Byleth doesn't catch, and Dimitri's grip on the rod tightens. At this, Byleth frowns, then calls out to the two across the pond, tells them to hurry back before they run out of Two-Fish Saute in the dining hall.

It seems like they’ve only noticed Byleth’s presence now, but Byleth doesn’t take offence, because Dimitri turns to him with a sad smile, saying, "Professor, you didn't have to do that for me."

"It's alright.” Byleth averts his gaze when he sees the little puppy’s likeness return to Dimitri’s features. “I did it for the fish."

"For the _fish_?" Dimitri says, furrowing his brows.

"Yeah, didn't you know?" Byleth says in absolute seriousness. "Speaking a lot here affects the Albinean… _Hear_ ring.”

Dimitri is silent for an entire minute before he bursts out laughing, and with a gentle smile, Byleth pushes himself up and holds a hand out for Dimitri, supporting him as he gets up as well.

  
  


Days later, Sylvain and Mercedes walk into Byleth’s last class of the week with two small crates behind their backs. They simply grin at Byleth when he raises an eyebrow at them, and he doesn’t miss how the sight of the boxes rattles the others in the classroom. 

After the lecture, when Byleth stacks his reference books to a side and tucks his notebook under an arm, he considers asking the class what they're up to, but before he can, Ashe puts his palms on Byleth’s table as he leans forward, and without any explanation, says, "You _will_ join us, won't you, Professor?"

Behind him, the rest of the Blue Lions also look up at Byleth expectantly. Even Felix — who never lingers in the classroom — is here, talking to Dimitri and Sylvain about whatever is inside the boxes that they had brought in.

Annette joins Ashe in convincing Byleth to join them, and Byleth can't find it in him to demand any clarification or even refuse despite not knowing what’s going on when they gawk at him with such glittering eyes. Therefore, he concedes with a nod, and Ingrid pumps her fist when Dedue conveys Byleth's acquiescence to her. This… better not be some prank like the one the Golden Deers played on Hanneman, but as he glances around at his class, Byleth thinks it'll be fine anyway.

As it turns out, the crates contain fireworks from Anna’s Secret Shop. Byleth and the Blue Lions are in the space outside the sauna — hidden from Seteth and Cyril — as everything is unboxed, and Byleth watches how excited everyone is over the evening’s proceedings. Especially Dimitri, who is so transfixed by the sparklers in Dedue’s hand that Byleth sees in Dimitri himself from when he was a little boy, and how he had not blinked for so long when he held his first sword — a small blade that one of Jeralt's mercenaries forged for him — that the others thought he had fainted.

As Annette casts a spell to make fire, the others pass the fireworks around and tell Byleth their stories about Faerghus— specifically how it isn’t possible to light fireworks there since it’s always too cold and too wet, and how the last time someone had smuggled a small rocket into Fhirdiad, they had to give up after a dozen failed attempts to light it up.

In the midst of this, Byleth’s attention is drawn to Dimitri again, who is so radiant in the glow of the sparkler in his hand that it’s hard for Byleth to look away. While Dimitri keeps a tight rein on his emotions on most days, choosing each word he says and controlling every action that he makes, right now he looks... like a child. With that toothy grin and a slight dimple near his chin, Byleth can’t believe that this is the same boy who, a few days ago, was both on the verge of tears in the training hall yet seething over others’ words as they fished. 

But then someone — Byleth doesn't recognize the voice over the sound of the fountain Ashe sets off — adds to the tales of Faerghus an anecdote about the previous king, and how they can’t wait for Dimitri to ascend the throne when they return.

Suddenly, at these words, Dimitri's jaw tightens. In the shadows that dance across Dimitri's face as the sparkler reaches its end, there is something more— something else now. 

The moment Dimitri meets Byleth’s gaze, Dimitri looks away, guilty, as if he's caught red-handed once again. That is when Byleth understands.

  
  


It finally happens at dawn on a day with no scheduled classes. Byleth had stepped out of his room to feed the little puppy whining outside his door at Sothis’s command, and when he had spotted Dimitri at a distance, Byleth had followed him all the way to the cathedral, where he takes a seat near Dimitri, now, on the third pew on the left.

Dimitri and Byleth are the only ones here at this time; even the counselor isn’t here with a pile of notes from the advice box, and neither is the organist in sight. Other than the sound of Dimitri’s uniform rustling as he takes a little needle out of his sewing kit, the cathedral remains shrouded in silence. 

Like that day when Dimitri had fished with Byleth, they sit side by side without uttering a word. Byleth has always been accustomed to this stillness, and as Dimitri pushes his threaded needle through a bright blue cloth, Byleth thinks he appreciates it too.

The sun has not risen yet, but the sky above the stained glass ceilings of the cathedral is bright enough that Dimitri can see what he’s doing. Byleth watches him stitch around the edges of the cloth, then change his thread to a bright yellow as he goes over the outline of a flower that Mercedes must have sketched for him, and Byleth closes his eyes, savouring the moment.

It’s a few minutes later, however, when Byleth hears a soft _snap_ , that everything comes crashing down. Dimitri had only broken the needle in the middle of a long row of chain stitches, but when Byleth looks over at Dimitri, he's biting down on his lip so hard that he draws blood, and his eyes are screwed shut— almost as if—

Panicking, Byleth stubs his shoe on the pew ahead of him when he stands up, looking around to see if anyone's watching this. But no one except Dimitri and Byleth are here, and that's fine. Unlike humans, the goddess must have more to do than gossip about how she peeped on Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd crying over a sewing needle. 

Byleth kneels down, picks up the broken pieces of the needle, places them aside, and gazes up at Dimitri.

“What's wrong?" Byleth asks.

"Nothing, Professor,” Dimitri replies, his voice soft as he rubs at his eyes with vigour. "I apologize, something must have irritated my eyes—”

As Dimitri comes up with excuses to explain this situation, Byleth focuses on him. On Dimitri, who spars with Dedue until it’s past curfew; who dodges Annette and Mercedes's attacks with practiced ease; who doesn’t even stumble when Felix and Sylvain double-team him; who never misses a chance to strategize with Ingrid and Ashe.

Indeed, this is Dimitri, who Byleth has seen interact with the rest of his class, but this is also the same boy who Byleth had found shaking and apologizing in the training hall, who had gritted his teeth on overhearing the girls gossiping about him by the pond, who had lost his spark when his friends reminded him of his nobility. 

"Dimitri. Look at me," Byleth interrupts, knowing that this isn’t about the lance, the girls, the fireworks, or the needle.

Dimitri doesn't comply, glares down at his clenched fists instead. So Byleth lifts his chin and looks— just looks. There is no judgement in his eyes, no pity, nothing but understanding. Dimitri sees this, and he lets himself lean into Byleth’s touch.

Byleth says nothing as he stands up again, and he puts a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder, squeezing gently. While Byleth doesn't expect Dimitri to pour out everything weighing down on him or even share with him part of what's happening, when Dimitri whispers _Professor_ in that broken voice, so unlike his usual commanding tone, Byleth reaches out and pulls him close.

The first rays of the morning sun flood in through the cathedral's stained glass windows, and although Dimitri’s breath catches at Byleth’s proximity, he doesn't pull away.

Byleth knows that there’s a lot that rests upon Dimitri— his future as King, his reputation as the house leader, and the pain of something more— something he can't tell Byleth yet, but Byleth can wait. He can wait. 

Gradually, Dimitri calms down, lets his shoulders drop, and nods when Byleth asks if it’s okay to let go. Then, as Byleth tries to fix the broken needle with a bit of leftover wax in a pocket, Dimitri wipes the corners of his eyes and mumbles, "Professor... how do you always know exactly what I need?"

With a slight smile, Byleth says, "I'm only doing what you told me to."

Again, like the puppy Byleth was seeking this morning, Dimitri blinks at him in confusion. Resisting the urge to reach out and ruffle Dimitri’s hair, Byleth continues, "Do you remember what you told me when we first met?"

"’Hello’, I presume?" Dimitri responds, then blushes at Byleth’s surprised glance. 

Chuckling at Dimitri’s attempt at joking, Byleth says, “You told me, ‘lend us your strength’. While that was in a different scenario, I made a promise to you back then.”

"You did.”

"And I’m doing just that,” Byleth says, handing Dimitri the fixed needle.

When the first notes of the pipe organ resound through the cathedral, right as the sunlight permeating through the glass ceiling above glimmers on Dimitri’s face, Byleth simply watches, enraptured. Then, Dimitri peers up from the needle, smiling at Byleth, and Byleth, brushing Dimitri’s hair out of his eyes, smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sharrkans/)! i hope you enjoy all the dimileth goodness packed into 200 pages of [my beloved](https://twitter.com/MyBelovedZine/). ♥


End file.
